


I thank God you came (how many more days could I wait?)

by takemeorleaveme



Category: One Direction (Band), Zayn Malik (Musician)
Genre: Avengers AU, Black Widow! Zayn, Captain America! Louis, Hawkeye! Liam, I had to use a slur and I am SO SORRY, I'm a slut for a good AU, M/M, Marvel Avengers - Freeform, Niall is Tony Stark..but i didn't explicitly say that, Shout out to Tay for being amazing, There is some really foul language in here, Winter Soldier! Harry, Zayn and Widow are the same person, its a split personality type thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-21
Updated: 2016-09-20
Packaged: 2018-08-16 10:36:57
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8098903
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/takemeorleaveme/pseuds/takemeorleaveme
Summary: Four years ago, Hawkeye saved the Black Widow.  Now Zayn has to save Liam.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi Guys! So this is my Black Widow/Hawkeye AU because i am a shipper and I refuse to give this ship up. Especially since it's canon in the comics. That's beside the point. I hope you enjoy and if you have any questions, part two should be up in three weeks, I'm just itching to get this to you guys!!  
> Thank you to Tay, my lovely best friend and shipping partner in crime. 
> 
> Title of the fic is from Controlla by Drake, as are the chapter titles.
> 
> Enjoy!!!

Widow’s tied to a table, which for some people would seem problematic, but Widow is right where he wants to be. He’s got the mustached Italian giving detailed descriptions about where the asset is – a safe filled with stolen gems tucked away where it will never be seen. Widow sighs internally while adding another layer of fear in his eyes. The Italian buys it and relaxes, continuing to wax poetic about his master plans.

Widow is just moving his hands into position when a mobile rings out. The Italian and his guards look around. The Italian boss takes the phone out of his pocket and answers it.

“Pronto.”

The Italian’s eyes widen and – what was his name? Widow should remember it, but he notices the watch the man is wearing instead. It would be a nice gift for Hawkeye when their anniversary comes up in a few months’ time.

The phone conversation continues without Widow listening, but his interest peaks when the man pales. Whatever the Italian hears has him spooked, and he puts the phone up to Widow’s ear. Widow huffs out a breath.

“Hawkeye’s been compromised, Widow,” his handler, Unger, tells him.

The situation changes in an instant.

Widow has to control his body so he doesn’t react the way he wants to. His tone is flat when he says, “Give me five minutes.”

His escape is set into motion as soon as the Italian takes the phone away.

Instead of panicking, Widow lets his muscle memory take over. He’s off the table in record time; the two guards barely have time to draw their weapons before he knocks them unconscious. The Italian raises his hands, and Widow leaves him be, choosing to bend down to pick up the phone where it’s fallen.

Opening the door for the back-up team, Widow pauses before he saunters out of the facility, fully embroiled in his persona. He brings the phone to his ear and says calmly, “I was told that Hawkeye was on lock down for three months and wasn’t able to leave the base.”

Unger coughs. “That’s correct, however, the base was attacked less than thirty minutes ago and he was... persuaded to leave HQ with the attacker.”

The Widow takes a deep breath in, and Zayn breathes out, the persona falling away with hard-won ease until only the man is left behind. Zayn’s voice is less stoic when he presses, “What do you mean? He’d never leave without putting up a fight, and he’s so passionate about the organization that he’d never shift loyalty.”

His words are not half as frantic as his racing thoughts, one question rising up above all others: if Payne’s gone – Payne, not Liam, not at this moment – what the fuck is he still doing here?

He should be going rogue, halfway through one of thirty seven escape plans he’d painstakingly laid out when he’d joined the organization. He has no loyalties to these people.

Without Payne what’s the fucking point?

Unbidden Payne’s voice echoes in Zayn’s head, drawing forward a memory that Zayn keeps buried deep and close.

 

_Hawkeye’s leaning against a hotel sink, shaving cream clinging to his face, but his smirk still comes across. “Widow, if it makes it easier, don’t be loyal to the suits. Be loyal to me, and I’ll be loyal to you. Simple as that.”_

_The statement, the promise, is stupid, Widow knows, but the man isn’t._

_Even as he’s talking and waving a disposable razor through the air, Hawkeye’s gaze never leaves Widow or his bindings just in case Widow’s escaped it. A smart man, Widow thinks._

_“I meant what I said before,” Hawkeye continues, brown eyes seemingly earnest. “Everyone deserves a second chance and you should take it. I won’t kill you and you won’t kill me. We don’t ever have to like each other, but we could be professionals. Who knows? Maybe you’ll get to keep your name. Black Widow sounds sick over the comms.”_

_The smirk that had played on the edges of Hawkeye’s mouth turns into a blinding smile. Widow hates him with every fibre of his being._

 

Zayn was never loyal to the suits, only and always to Liam, and Widow, well Widow became loyal to Liam.

Hawkeye was loyal to Widow before Widow even knew what true loyalty meant, and Liam – Zayn had never known loyalty like Liam’s.

Their awareness of each other grew and grew until it surpassed anything Zayn knew to expect, and the suits never knew about it at all, missing all those times Liam laughed at Zayn, with Zayn, all those times Hawkeye curbed Widow’s sharpest bite with a gentle prod. Zayn never meant to let anybody in, and Widow damn well should have fought it. Yet the awareness took hold anyways, undetected by outsiders.

Zayn itches to reach for it now, curious but dreading what he might fine. His heart pounds like it hasn’t in years, and he feels unbalanced.

“Widow. Malik. Zayn. Zayn!” Unger’s voice breaks through, violently. “We need you. Liam needs you. I know you guys have a bond.”

Zayn scoffs. No one knows, not truly.

He’s made it to the exit door. He hesitates to open it. Widow never hesitates but Zayn? He always does.

Unger backtracks, smart and careful as always, “Sorry, an understanding. Please.”

Zayn shakes his head; Hawkeye went to hell and back for the Widow. Liam would walk through fire for Zayn. Zayn would sacrifice everything for Liam. It isn’t even a question; it shouldn’t be.

“Unger, you knew I was in the moment you called. I should be back in a few hours. Gather all the Intel you can. I’ll see if I can find Hawk on my radar.”

Unger sighs in relief, “Glad to have you here Widow, as always. We at STAND are grateful.”

“I’m not doing it for STAND.”

Zayn hangs up the phone and tosses it behind him as he exits the building and calmly walks to the waiting helicopter, forcing himself to slip back into the Widow. Feigning his cool exterior, because, STAND be damned, he won’t let them know exactly how much this is affecting him, he pushes Zayn away.

Sliding into a seat with languid grace, Widow lets his mind wander, back to how in the hell he got himself here in the first place. Where did Hawkeye and Widow finally have it out? Was it Prague or Stockholm? Must have been Prague. The architecture was too gothic and the roofs were constructed so well. Hawkeye truly did have a better perch to observe Widow from.

Widow and Zayn both remember that last mission, the seduction, the arrow, Hawkeye.

 

**

_Widow’s got the mark right where he wants him. It’s easy; with the looks and intelligence Widow possesses, men and women constantly fawn over him. He never has to try hard for a mark. This time it’s a man, and it hardly took convincing. The file says he’s straight, but Widow loves a challenge._

_He’s smiling all the right ways, forcing a blush when he has to, giggling like a schoolgirl, and touching. He’s got a room key in his pocket for a suite upstairs, and he’s ready to get this mission over with so he can enjoy a night of peace. The music they keep playing in the hotel bar is awful, and Widow’s mind keeps wandering, bored._

_Now it keeps wandering to other seductions, other lessons. Widow remembers the best and the worst equally. Sometimes the other boys back in the Black Earth wouldn’t seduce their instructors well enough or fast enough, and they would get punished. A memory creeps in – the first time, age nine, he seduced an instructor, his failure, the syringe in his neck, his trousers pulled down, unconsciousness – and Widow shoves it ruthlessly back._

_That failure doesn’t matter. He never failed again, and he won’t now. Widow came into being that day, and Widow never fails, always batting his lashes, always feathering light touches, always biting his lip. Always keeping who he was before shoved down._

_Widow snaps back to the present with the sharp sting of a rubber band breaking._

_The mark’s name is Brian. An American businessman who is known for stealing the sex workers Black Earth owns and funneling them into the American trade, his heterosexuality becomes more questionable by the second. It isn’t a surprise with a man like him; when he only wishes to possess, gender hardly matters. Widow won’t feel guilt for this kill, and who he was before, Zayn, won’t either._

_Widow’s programming tells him that he has fifteen minutes to get this man isolated before his superiors will expect his report at BE._

_“I’d love your company in my room, I’ve already broken into my mini bar,” he tells Brian._

_The other man smiles and blushes. The Widow’s got his prey._

_He leads the man out of the bar and to the elevator. He backs the man into the back wall of the elevator and kisses him. He feels Brian freeze for a moment, surprised by the sudden daring, but then he relaxes and responds to Widow’s lips. Widow presses his advantage as he’s been taught. He’s running a hand over the man’s cock and the other is gripping Brian’s hair short seconds later. He feels nothing, but he keeps pressing. No ground gained is ground lost, in an assault, at least to BE._

_Only when he feels the elevator slow does Widow allow himself to step back, turning as the doors open. He fishes his key card out of his pocket and walks to his door, not looking back to see if Brian is following. Widow always gets his prey._

_He opens the door to his room and does a quick sweep. Nothing is out of place, so he pulls Brian in and forces their mouths together. The following moments are so rote, that Widow hardly pays attention._

_Brian’s just starting to unbutton Widow’s shirt, harsh, impatient jerks, when Widow’s hearing picks up something. There’s a keening noise and an almost soundless glass break. Widow pulls back in time to see an arrow lodge into Brian’s throat. His absolute surprise keeps Widow still, and he watches in sick fascination as the life fades from Brian’s eyes. There’s a gurgling noise coming from Brian’s throat once he slumps to the ground, and Widow looks away. His eyes snag on the window, watching as someone climbs through._

_Someone wearing all black. Someone with glasses on. Someone who possesses an athletic build. Someone who has arms which flex and move like water ripples under the skin._

_Widow takes it all in, in an instant, his mind shuffling through shock and confusion before he settles. He turns his stance into attack mode, but he falters a moment later when he takes in the person’s – a man – weapon. A bow._

_Widow is so baffled that Zayn peeks out and exclaims in Arabic, “The fuck?”_

_The man smiles, and Zayn swears his knees buckle. In English, the black figure speaks, “Sorry mate, I didn’t really want to watch you fuck him, or vice versa. Not that I have a problem with it! I just think it’s an invasion of privacy, especially when I don’t really know either of you, you know?”_

_Whatever confusion unseated Widow from control fades as the man rambles. Firmly in control once more, the man has barely finished speaking when Widow moves to kick him in the side but is stopped. Widow’s heartbeat falters. The man has his leg in his hand. This has never happened to Widow before. He tilts his head and the man smiles again. Widow’s nostrils flare in frustration._

_“The name’s Hawkeye. You’re Black Widow. I’m supposed to kill you,” the man, Hawkeye, tells him. His tone is the same as before, conversational._

_The Widow smirks and replies, “Maybe I’m already dead, Hawkeye. You should research your targets more.”_

_He jerks his leg out of Hawkeye’s hand and ducks down to the floor to allow one leg to jut out and knock Hawkeye’s legs out from under him. Hawkeye is forced to the floor. Widow stands and kicks him in the side. Hawkeye is up faster than Widow expects because there’s a punch landing on his left side. He stumbles back at the force. It’s the first time in years that Widow has given up ground in a fight, and Widow snarls at Hawkeye._

_“Look, I’m really sorry about that but you didn’t let me finish!”_

_Widow doesn’t intend to let him finish now either, pressing forward savagely. He’s quick, but Hawkeye is too, and Hawkeye doesn’t stop talking._

_“I’m supposed to kill you—but I’m not going to!” Hawkeye is dodging his punches left and right, getting his words out when he can. Once the choppy sentence processes, Widow pauses in his assault._

_“Why?”_

_Hawkeye relaxes a fraction but puts more space between them, “I’d like to recruit you. Give you a second chance.”_

_Widow laughs. “There are no second chances for Widows.”_

_The man in front of him looks sad for a split second. “Everyone deserves a second chance. Especially you.”_

_It’s a new trick, certainly, but Widow knows it’s a trick regardless. Whoever this man is, he doesn’t mean what he says._

_Widow’s had enough of this and returns to fighting this man. It’s very difficult. It’s almost as if something is stopping him from really hurting this man. Widow forces himself onward, ignoring the small resistance. He keeps kicking and ducking and punching and finally, finally Widow has this man in his deadlock: his signature move. He keeps squeezing his thighs and Hawkeye takes a breath._

_“Don’t do this Zayn.”_

_Widow short circuits._

_He doesn’t know what happens after that, whether he blacks out or faints, if it’s from the surprise or if the man sneaks in a hit. Widow wakes up with his hands bound, eyes covered, feet bound and a hand stroking through his hair. There’s a television on in the background. It’s playing a show in English. Widow feels the hand and notes the calluses on the palm just below the index finger. Archer’s hands. Hawkeye. A smile. Za—_

_No._

_“Stop touching me,” is the first thing Widow says.  
The hand immediately stops moving and pulls away. Hawkeye clears his throat. “Glad you’re awake. I thought I broke you.”_

_Widow sighs. “You can’t break what’s already been broken.” Widow frequently uses statements like this to throw off his targets, but this statement is almost too honest. He’s not sure why he’s said it._

_“But you can fix it,” comes the hopeful reply somewhere above him, on his left._

_He scoffs, “As if you would understand broken things that need to be repaired.”_

_“Even broken clocks are correct twice a day.”_

_Widow’s annoyance flares. “What exactly do you want from me, archer?”_

_Hawkeye sighs. Widow can hear rustling, and suddenly he can see. He sees a man with warm brown eyes, and Widow meets the stare of Hawkeye for the second time that day. He notes the furrowed brows, the quirk of the lips, and the distrust coursing through the other man’s veins._

_“It’s not so much about what I want anymore. This all depends on you, Widow.” Hawkeye pauses, “If you want to kill me, you can find a way. You probably have thought of at least three. If you haven’t, I’m a little bit disappointed.”_

_The man isn’t wrong. Widow’s thought of seven. In the last three minutes. All of which end with him walking out the door and meeting at his assigned checkpoint with BE. But Hawkeye seem to be hinting at an eighth option, which leaves both of them alive._

_“If you want to stay alive, if you want out, we can help you. STAND is the best organization that actually helps people like you and m—many other people,” Hawkeye explains. “We’re the ones people can call when shit gets really bad. We come in, a few arrows here, a few punches there, bing, bang, boom, we’re done. Not so much blood and a lot less enjoyment on the agent’s part with no sexual assault as punishment for failed assignments.”_

_Widow feels Zayn creeping out and tries his hardest to keep him from feeling hope, hope that he can be safe and be freed from this Black Earth prison. But Hawkeye’s words, his knowledge of details he shouldn’t know, forces Widow to ask “How?”_

_Hawkeye smiles that damn smile again. “We can deprogram you. We can make you back into your former self, or similar to him. We can help make you a person again instead of an emotionless robot.”_

_Widow doesn’t believe him, but he studies him regardless._

_Hawkeye is now sitting across from him, gun holstered but Widow has a feeling that the slightest twitch will make him draw it._

_“Black Earth will never let me go,” Widow says, flatly. “There’s a protocol if any of us deflect. I’m being hunted now to make sure I’m either dead or soon will be. STAND cannot hope to keep me alive long enough to deprogram me, even if I thought they could.”_

_Hawkeye smiles, “You didn’t hear? STAND destroyed Black Earth last night. We’ve known about the program for so long and I, especially, wanted to take a few of them out. Someone named Ogel in particular. Killing him led us to you. Bringing you in was never the plan, but I can see the remains of your former self in your eyes.”_

_When he stops talking Widow is curious more than anything else, “When did you kill him. I had always dreamed of it. Tell me about it. In great detail. Did he suffer?”_

_Hawkeye’s eyebrows shoot up his face but he does as asked. “I found him in bed, fired a warning shot at his headboard.” He pauses, “He awoke startled and called for security, when none of them came he realized what was about to happen. I demanded the deprogramming codes for all of you. He told me where to find them. He begged for his life, and the life of the child in bed with him. After telling the child to run to my partner, I walked over and cut the main artery in his throat, not too deep but deep enough.”_

_Widow’s eyes widen in surprise. That was always how he would do it. Slit the man’s throat and watch him bleed out. He practiced on his marks enough times to know exactly how much pressure to apply. It’s a slower death than most of his kills, and Widow would have enjoyed it. He did not expect such violence from this man._

_“How long did it take for him to bleed out?”_

_“Thirty minutes.”_

_Widow nods his head. “How do you know he’s really dead?”_

_Hawkeye barks out a laugh. “I hear you can’t survive without blood in your veins.”_

_Widow smiles._

_“Plus, the eight rounds I fired at his head should have finished him off nicely.”_

_Widow wants to laugh but stops himself. Ogel is dead. The man who raped, tortured, and created him was dead. It is revenge he wishes he could have been responsible for, but revenge nonetheless._

_It also means that Widow now owes this Hawkeye. It changes Widow’s plans._

_Widow looks at Hawkeye, “What about the rest of my brothers and sisters?”_

_“We’re going to try and deprogram all of you. Originally we planned on giving the option of signing on with STAND, but most of your brothers and sisters, when they heard that Ogel was dead, apparently, committed suicide.”_

_Widow grimaces, though he is not surprised. Black Earth’s programming had a definition of loyalty that allowed for little else._

_“You were on the kill list because STAND thought there was no humanity left. They thought you were gone,” Hawkeye continues. “I saw that you weren’t. HQ is a bit mad at me for my call, but I’m sure, in time, they’ll see my side of things. Plus, you haven’t killed me yet! That’s always a promising start.”_

_Widow contemplates his options; he is at war with himself for approximately fifteen seconds. Widow doesn’t reply._

_Hawkeye apparently doesn’t require him too, because he asks, “Do you want to take a shower?”_

_Widow nods, and it is the only answer he is currently willing to give._

_“I have to be in the bathroom with you, it’s standard protocol with prisoners.”_

_Widow quirks a brow. “I’m a prisoner?”_

_Hawkeye nods. “Until you’re deprogrammed, unfortunately. I’m going to shower before you so it isn’t terribly awkward. Hang tight and I’ll be right back.”_

_Hawkeye must take the fastest shower, even by Widow’s standards because Widow counts only 60 seconds passed before Hawkeye comes out with a towel wrapped around his waist._

_Widow examines him. He is objectively attractive- he possesses short brown hair, brown eyes, and a nice jaw line. Widow finds him appealing, to be sure, but Zayn is positively enamored. It is the first time in a long time that Zayn has felt anything at all._

_Widow notes the scars that litter Hawkeye’s body. Mostly on his legs, only two on his arms. Widow can make out a few tattoos, simple ones, unidentifiable markings that anyone could have. Zayn wants to lick the drop of water that begins at Hawkeye’s collar bone as it trails lazily down his chest, stopping at his navel to pool with a few other stray droplets._

_Hawkeye allows Widow’s scrutiny with admirable apathy. The only give away is the slight flush and his pupils dilating a fraction wider. Hawkeye clears his throat, “Do you need help up?”_

_Widow shakes his head. “No, thank you.”_

_Hawkeye lets him get up on his own._

_“I’m going to untie your restraints. Please don’t try to kill me. It’s very unprofessional to kill someone in a towel.” He smiles._

_Widow returns it with a bored expression. “I won’t kill you. I’d like to wash this day off of me.”_

_Hawkeye freezes. “It’s been three days, Widow. That’s how long you’ve been unconscious.”_

_Widow controls his expression. “I would like to shower all the same.”_

_Hawkeye nods and begins cutting the ropes on his wrists. “Just so you know, we have about four months to deprogram you. Or else the order to eliminate you will be carried out.”_

_He isn’t particularly surprised by this limitation, though he isn’t happy about it. A strange thought occurs, and Widow fights against asking it. He loses. Widow clenches his jaw but through his teeth he asks, “Will you be able to finish the job, Hawkeye?”_

_Hawkeye startles and drops the knife. He looks into Widow’s eyes with a very serious amount of sincerity. “I have proved unsuccessful in killing you, Widow. I will not be given a second chance to succeed on my previous mission. Nor would I like to.”_

_Hawkeye doesn’t give Widow time to respond, kneeling down to get the knife and continuing to cut the ropes._

_Widow considers his words apathetically. Zayn couldn’t be more pleased. Widow cannot remember the last time Zayn was so present inside of his head._

_Hawkeye finishes with the ropes and gestures for Widow to enter the bathroom._

_“You get fifteen seconds to shed your attire and get in the shower. I’ll be turning the water on for five of those fifteen. If you’re going to kill me, that’s your opportunity.” Hawkeye’s tone is frank but teasing._

_Widow feels like laughing. Zayn responds, “I’d never kill someone with a towel around their waist. Seems like poor form.”_

_Hawkeye smiles brilliantly. He turns to the shower, flipping the water on, and Widow starts undressing. He finishes in seven seconds. Hawkeye turns around, and his eyes do not leave Widow’s face. It’s a reaction Widow isn’t used to. He expects Hawkeye to look him up and down, not regard him with disinterest. The Widow absolves himself to hate Hawkeye._

_“The water should be warm enough. If it isn’t, I’m positive this isn’t your first subpar shower. I’ll be shaving, and then we can discuss what happens next.”_

_Widow nods and gets into the shower and under the warm water. It feels like heaven._

_Hawkeye begins speaking._

_“I just want you to know that without STAND, I would be exactly where you are. Actually, I was exactly where you are about five years ago. My handler Unger, Felix Unger, caught me. Great guy, a bit on the wacky side but what can you do? He told me I could die or live, and I chose to live. I was brought in as a prisoner, like you will be, and placed in a holding cell for thirty days while I resisted every ounce of help or conversation.”_

_Widow thinks he’s exaggerating, but he doesn’t know for sure. Zayn is fascinated._

_“Why a bow and arrow?”_

_He can make out Hawkeye pause lathering his shaving cream through the curtain, “I was trained in archery at six every day for ten years. At sixteen, I became the best marksman in the world.”_

_Widow scoffs, “Everyone knows who that was. It wasn’t you, Hawkeye. It was a boy named Liam Payne. Even I read the Guinness World Record updates.”_

_Hawkeye starts laughing._

_Widow stops washing his body. “What’s so funny?”_

_The laughter dies down. “Oh Widow, how have you not put two and two together?”_

_It dawns on him. He pulls back the curtain, “You? You’re Liam Payne? The boy who joined the circus? The boy who had both his hands broken at twelve and thought he’d never pick up the bow again? That’s you?”_

_Hawkeye, Liam, clicks his tongue, “One and the same.”_

_Widow puts the curtain back and continues washing. He wonders how a boy with a beginning like that ends up where Hawkeye is. He does not ask._

_“Anyway, I was brought in and I refused to speak to anyone,” Liam continues, his tone so relaxed that it itches along Widow’s skin. “I screamed at every guard, I refused training room privileges. I was awful to Felix. Then one day, I’ll never forget this, Felix came to my cell and said the most annoying thing ever.” Hawkeye laughs to himself. “He said, ‘You don’t have to be loyal to the suits, kid. You can be loyal to whoever you want. If that’s me, great; if it’s Agent Foxcourt, great. The suits just need the statement, the proof, that you’re loyal to someone at STAND, and you can be a free man. You can get out of the cell and back to shooting, which I know you miss.’ That’s when it clicked for me. This organization was good and would help me deal with all the self-loathing I had stored over the years.”_

_Widow turns the water off and grabs a towel. Hawkeye stops shaving and turns to him. Widow can feel him searching for some indication that meant Widow had listened. Widow quirks a brow and asks, “So who are you loyal to if you’re not loyal to the suits?”_

_Hawkeye, seemingly satisfied, returns to shaving. “Who said I’m loyal to anyone?_

_Widow lowers the lid on the toilet seat and sits down. He stares at his hands, contemplating Hawkeye’s words. It is not the answer he had expected, but very little about Hawkeye has matched any of his expectations so far._

_Widow changes the subject._

_“Do you have clothes for me or am I to stay in this towel until we can leave?”_

_Hawkeye glances at him. “Sure, let me just put this up, and then I’ll bind you again.” Widow makes a grunting noise._

_“Come on, you know I don’t trust you. This is how it has to be. You’re still a prisoner until you’re loyal to someone.”_

_He watches Hawkeye walk out of the bathroom with his razor in hand. Widow has to give it to the man, he’s very good at making sure Widow has no weapons at his disposal._

_Hawkeye walks in with clothes and hands them to Widow. He also has new bindings. It isn’t rope._

_“These cuffs carry electric shock inhibitors. You try to escape or tamper with them, they’ll hit you with a charge of 30 volts. It increases in charge each time you try.” Hawkeye watches him finish dressing, and Widow turns around, expecting the cuffs to go on his hands behind his back. Hawkeye clears his throat, “You can face me. These aren’t like police cuffs; you can have your hands in front of you sicne you still need to eat, use the toilet, all that.” He pauses, “I’m putting about ten percent trust in you right now to not kill me. I can drug you if you like.”_

_Widow turns around to face him. “No drugs. I’ll cooperate. As you said, I haven’t killed you yet. I don’t plan to, at least not until I know for sure what your organization is like.”_

_Hawkeye nods his head. “Fair enough.”_

Zayn is taken out of his memories when the voice in his ear tells them they’re landing soon. He nods and braces himself for the inevitable bumpy landing because Liam’s the only pilot, apparently, at STAND who doesn’t like to bounce the fucking wheels. He’s unfastening his seat belt and waiting for the door to open when the sight of Felix opening the plane door himself greets him.

“Widow, you are to come with me for debriefing,” he explains.

Zayn simply follows the other man off the plane. He’s winding his way down the halls, wondering why they’re at the New York compound and not the DC compound. He’ll find out soon enough he supposes to himself. Felix leads them to a room that has every chair filled with higher ups that Widow’s never seen before. Unger gestures to an empty chair at the table, and they both take their seats.

The director of STAND, Jon Wrathbone, stands and begins speaking, “As some of you may or may not know, one of our level 9 agents was compromised this morning. He was compromised from within STAND, which means we have two problems. I have a missing agent and a god damn leak in my agency.”

There’s a pregnant pause. “Now, I already know who it was and where the leak came from, and if you give yourself up now, I can give you the mercy of a painless death.”

All eyes at the table shift to Zayn. He scoffs. “Right, like I’d hurt my own fucking partner. You’re all mental. But sure, blame the Black Widow if it helps you sleep at night.”

Felix clears his throat. Zayn picks at his cuticles; he really has to get some almond oil on them if he wants them to stop looking so gnarly. Widow pushes at him, sensing danger and wanting out, but Zayn pushes back. He wants control, for now.

Wrathbone continues, “Since you didn’t come forward, we’ll do this the hard way. “ He sighs, “Widow.”

Zayn’s head snaps to look at him. That was Wrathbone’s commanding tone; an order is coming. He waits.

“Seat three four seven six is guilty of the leak and compromising your husband. Would you like the pleasure or would you like to have them detained for questioning and kept alive for Hawkeye to dispose of?”

He decodes the director’s phrase quickly: four times six is twenty-four, divided by three, eight plus seven. Zayn’s eyes dart around the table; looking once at the guilty party, seat fifteen, before landing on three other seats. He smiles. It’s Agent Fuller. Liam liked him but Zayn’s never trusted him.

The entire table contains men and women sweating and shifting, on edge and nervous. Zayn nearly smiles.

“I think I’d like a go at him before I retrieve my partner.”

Wrathbone nods his head. “Please report to me once you’re done so I can debrief you on the rescue mission. The rest of you are dismissed.” No one moves a muscle, thrown off by the dismissal without the culprit being detained. Wrathbone doesn’t care to explain and barks, “I said ‘dismissed’; meaning, get the fuck out of here. Now!”

Zayn watches everyone scramble to exit the room. He finds Fuller and follows him. He keeps a healthy distance between them and watches him slowly fall into a panic.

Zayn smirks to himself. See, usually he would let Widow handle this, but no. Zayn needs this catharsis for himself. Fuller keeps walking to his room that was assigned to him, the standard agent room on the third floor.

Widow and Hawkeye reside on the fifth floor where the quarters are two bedrooms instead of the studio rooms the third floor has. Fuller is unattached so it makes sense for him to be on level three.

Zayn watches him fumble his entry code before announcing himself. “Fuller!”

The other man turns his head and looks at him. The fear in his eyes is laughable to Widow. Zayn feels satisfied.

“Do you need help getting into your room? It looks like you’re having trouble with entry,” Zayn offers. If Fuller is intelligent, he’ll give Zayn entry so there are fewer witnesses.

The other agent nods and swallows. “Sure Agent Kimla. I’d appreciate it. I just get so paranoid, you know? One of our own took down Hawkeye. Do you know how he was compromised so easily?”

Zayn can see the hint of a self-satisfied smirk on Fuller’s face as the other agent settles back into his cover. He wants to punch it off.

He smiles back and moves to enter the entry code. It flashes green within seconds.   
He steps inside. “You’re right Fuller. It’s almost like you really have to know who to trust these days. But I’m sure you have plenty of people you trust.” He sighs and glances around the room, keeping his tone light, “Me? As an ex-BE charge, I only trust three people. Comes with the territory of being brainwashed most of your life. Widow’s great for some stuff, but I want you to know that Widow isn’t with me right now. He’s letting me drive.”

Confusion is slowly bleeding across Fuller’s face. “I thought you and Widow are one and the same?”

Zayn smirks. “And how do you figure that?” He doesn’t let the man answer though. “Either way, Agent Fuller, you’ve hurt something both of us hold very dear. And I want it back, far more than Widow does.”

The colour drains from Fuller’s face. “I—Zayn... There’s. I – I didn’t! You can’t possibly think...!” Fuller stammers.

Zayn grins wickedly. “Didn’t you figure out Wrathbone’s code? You were in seat fifteen. You heard the director. I get to have my cake and eat it too. “

Fuller backs himself against his fridge, seeming to search of a weapon before he resigns himself. He’s no match for Zayn or Widow, even with a weapon.

Zayn walk calmly toward him. “You can do this the easy way, or the hard way. The easy way means I knock you out before I break your hands. The hard way is I keep you awake while I pull your back molars out. You have five seconds.”

He waits and glances away, hoping the man attacks because that means he gets to do it the hard way. Fuller lunges at him with a paring knife. Zayn laughs. “Oh Fuller, you didn’t disappoint!”

Zayn lets Fuller push him against the island in the kitchen, giving the illusion of the upper hand. Zayn grunts for effect when Fuller punches him in the side while keeping the knife under his throat. He feels the blade press into his skin, Zayn takes his left hand, that Fuller stupidly left free, and takes hold of Fuller’s right wrist. Fuller glances down at it, eyes wide. Zayn smirks and applies just the right amount of pressure. He hears the knife clatter to the floor. He releases the hand, takes his right palm and shoves it against Fuller’s noes, satisfied with the crunching noise he hears. He steps back, watching Fuller process his broken nose.

“I did offer you an easy way,” Zayn reminds him.

Fuller looks at him, astonished.

Zayn closes the space between them and grasps Fuller’s neck with his right hand and walks him to the island. He forces Fuller’s head against the counter effectively knocking him dazed. Zayn guides the disoriented man into a chair, maneuvers Fuller’s arms, and cuffs his hands behind the chair’s backing. Zayn hears the room’s door allowing someone in. He glances over; it’s Unger.

His shoulders drop. “I thought I was allowed to play with my prey!” Zayn’s aware he’s whining, but he was told he was allowed!

Unger surveys the room and looks Fuller over. “I think you’ve done enough damage for now. You can have another go at him later. Wrathbone wants you to work on getting Hawkeye back as soon as possible.”

Zayn sighs. “Fine. Take him down to the prisoner chambers. But can I just do one more thing?”

Unger nods.

Zayn grins, kneels down to take off Fuller’s left boot and sock, and sets them to the side. Zayn turns and grabs the paring knife that Fuller used earlier and carves his signature triangles on the surface of fuller’s foot. He doesn’t hear Fuller react, so goes over it another time, digging the knife in deeper. Zayn knows he cut through ligaments. He’ll have to be satisfied with it for now.

Unger calls his name.

He drops the knife and steps back. Watching the guards take Fuller to the cell he’ll most likely die in, Zayn makes himself let it go. It’s not nearly enough, but it’ll have to do for now.

 

 

Zayn follows Unger to the real debriefing room to meet with Wrathbone. Zayn’s confused when they arrive at his quarters.

“Why are we here?”

Wrathbone, waiting for them, shrugs. “Tell us what’s different or what’s missing. Hawkeye would have left you clues.”

Zayn narrows his eyes. “How do you know that?”

“You two are the best members of this agency for espionage. I will not be deemed stupid for pretending I don’t know you two have codes and a secret language,” Wrathbone explains.

He’s right. They do have codes. If Liam was taken by blunt force, he’d have left the third drawer open in the kitchen with the grocery list that had the top three traded items of, what month was it? June? The list should have the top three traded items of Italy, and the bed should be unmade.

If Liam had time, and he wasn’t taken by blunt force, he would have left the fourth cabinet open and the stereo should be on, along with a box of matches sitting on the island in the kitchen.

Zayn opens the door. Wrathbone and Unger follow him into their quarters. Truthfully, the only person that’s been in their space is Louis and that was when they tried to set him up with John from training. It didn’t go over so well, something about someone from his past. Zayn forgets the details. It feels strange to have the two men at his back here, but he ignores it.

He surveys the living room and kitchen. He does love their open floor plan. He sees something he never thought he would. The second cabinet open with every single light on in the kitchen and, oh, a note sitting on the counter top. Liam doesn’t write notes. Unless. Zayn starts to panic. He walks calmly over to the counter and looks at the message. **I’ve always loved Versailles; I’ll meet you in the Gardens when you land. --Li**

Zayn’s heart clenches in his chest.

He can feel Unger hovering behind him.

“Liam’s never been to Versailles?”

Zayn sighs. “No, he hasn’t.”

 

_They’re lying in bed on a rare day off, must have been two years after their first mission. They’ve been together, officially together, for twenty months. Twelve of those twenty they’ve been married. Zayn has his head pillowed on Liam’s chest; he can feel the vibration of Liam’s voice before he hears it._

_“We should have a code, you know?”_

_Zayn smiles. “What kind of code?”_

_Liam thinks for a second before saying, “Like if something horrible happens to one of us, one of our old bosses comes looking and one of us gets compromised. We should be able to tell each other without anyone knowing.”_

_Zayn’s smiles fades. “That would never happen, Li. STAND wouldn’t let it.”_

_Liam sighs. “But what if?”_

_Zayn considers this. Liam’s right. It makes perfect sense that they should have a code for the worst-case scenario. If BE ever came back or if Trickshot ever came looking, they need to be prepared._

_A plan forms inside of Zayn’s mind like he’s been waiting for Liam to ask._

_“We can write a note. A note that says ‘I’ve always loved Versailles.’ That’s the code for one of our old bosses. We’ll write ‘I’ll meet you in the gardens,’ but change a detail for each boss. For BE, write when you land. For Trickshot, write when I land. It’ll be so subtle no one will think anything of it.”_

_Liam hugs him closer. “Sounds perfect Z. Especially since we’ve never been.”_

_Zayn kisses his chest. “Exactly.”_

He takes a deep breath, coming out of his memory. “It’s BE. They’re back. That’s how they compromised him. They’re using him as bait to get me.”

He hasn’t looked away from the note; it might be the last piece of Liam he has for a long time. If he remembers anything about BE, it’s that they know how to wait for the perfect moment to kill. This was no different. Nearly five years after he’d escaped them, he’ll be facing them again.

Wrathbone approaches him cautiously. “You’re sure?”

He nods. “Like you said, we have codes.”

The senior agents exchange a look behind him, he’s sure. Their breathing changes.

Unger gingerly places a hand on Zayn’s shoulder. “We can tell you the plan in here or go to a meeting room. The choice is yours.”

Zayn puts the note down. He glances around the kitchen for any other clues, any other hints of Liam, while he strokes his forearm. He can’t see it anymore but hidden under the black-banded tattoo, he’s got an arrowhead. Liam has two red triangles that are now covered in a similar black band. It was their way of always being with each other, especially when they couldn’t wear their wedding bands.

He spies the coffee in the coffee machine and wonders if it’s still fresh enough to have a cup. There should be a bagel in the cupboard that Liam saved for him. He walks over to look, and sure enough, it’s still there. Zayn feels like crying.

Instead, he walks to the coffee machine and gets a mug out, pours himself an almost full cup, leaving room for creamer. He gets to the fridge and sees their grocery list; Liam loves his grocery list. Sticks to it every time they go to the store and refuses to buy anything more or less than what’s on the list. **Creamer, filters, Zayn’s coffee, chicken, lamb, prosciutto, peas.**

Zayn smiles, he opens the fridge to have the last of the creamer and isn’t disappointed. There is just enough for him to ha—

“When was Liam taken?”

Wrathbone checks his watch. “Approximately, four hours ago.”

“And when did you know STAND had a leak?”

“Approximately three hours and thirty minutes ago,” Unger informs him.

Zayn clicks his tongue, eyes on the grocery list. “Liam knew days ago.”

“How do you figure?” Wrathbone asks.

Zayn pours the remaining creamer into his mug, gets a spoon, and stirs his coffee. He turns to face his superior officers.

“The grocery list. The last four items. I hate peas. Chicken, lamb and prosciutto are all top traded items from Italy. Which means, he knew he would be taken by blunt force. He just didn’t know when,” Zayn explains. He doesn’t tell them that Liam wrote peas at the end because he knew that it would bother Zayn that he hadn’t finished the code. Zayn can almost see Liam laughing to himself as he wrote it, and he holds that close, something just for him and Liam.

Unger stares.

Wrathbone’s eyebrows rise.

Zayn can see the skepticism on their faces, and he prepares to part with another thing meant only for him and Liam. If it will convince them, Zayn will gladly spill his secrets. “Look, Liam and I have more than an understanding,” he pauses. “We’ve been married for the last four years. “

Neither of them look surprised. Zayn frowns.

“If you would stop insulting my intelligence Agent Kimla, I would greatly appreciate it. We’ve known for the last two years. We get your tax information,” Wrathebone replies in a bored voice.

Unger smiles and says, “I won the pool. It was up to 4 grand! You two really did me a favor that year, let me tell you.”

Zayn wishes he could be mad, but he can’t find it in him to be mad at these two.

“I’m going to check the bedroom, having the meeting here is fine. I’d like Tomlinson to accompany me on this mission,” he tells them as he walks away.

Unger chuckles. “Not Stark?”

Zayn’s already in the bedroom but shouts his reply, “Unless it’s Arya Stark, he can stay the fuck home!”

He looks around the room trying to find anything amiss. He can see Liam’s laundry piling up. It’s only Thursday, so laundry day hasn’t happened yet. He sees their bed and notices all the pillows from his side are mysteriously vertical on the bed. He misses Liam just as much when he’s gone and does the same thing, but he would have cleaned it up before anyone had a chance to see it. Liam probably left it like that with the intention of letting Zayn know he was missed.

Zayn’s heart aches.

Liam’s phone is sitting on the charger; he walks over to it.

Zayn unlocks it because he’s known the code for ages it seems, and opens the note application on the iPhone. He finds a note entitled For J.

I knew I loved being married to a super spy for a reason. I need you to know a few things; Fuller is working with Agent Rumlow. Rumlow will not be at base since he is the original leak between STAND and BE. Rumlow is taking me somewhere on a chopper, so I can only be a few hours away, unless we refuel, but that should help. I have a feeling we are going west. I was told that I would be getting a nice tan? Because that’s what’s really important. Before you think it, Yes, I still love you. Yes, please stay with STAND, or at the very least, Unger and Wrathbone. I trust them both implicitly. I know I didn’t finish the code but this was more important. Since I’m cooperating, I got thirty minutes to pack. I hope you liked the coffee. Oh, please bring Rogers. I don’t need to be saved by Stark. I want the first face I see to be yours. I love you, I love you, I love you, Bring me home Zayn. 

He doesn’t know when he started crying, but there are tear tracks down his face.

Zayn allows himself another few seconds of sadness before he locks the phone and goes to the closet. He finds it in working order; nothing’s out of place, which is a good thing. He pulls out one of Liam’s shirts, a fresh pair of trousers, pants, and some socks, in case Liam needs new clothes when Zayn gets there. He’s only four hours—four and a half hours behind. He and the extraction team can finish this in less than twenty four hours. If only they—

Zayn bolts out of the bedroom.

“Unger! Have we tried locating him using his chip?”

Wrathbone squints. “Chip? We nano-chipped Hawkeye?”

Zayn shrugs. “It’s a precaution that I demanded we take after what happened in Orlando. Only Unger knew about it. It isn’t in either of our files.”

Unger opens the application that they use, and suddenly has a very big smile on his face, until it disappears. “You’re not going to like where he is... or at least where he’s headed.”

Wrathbone sighs. “Spit it out Unger.”

Zayn silently agrees.

“He’s on his way to Orlando.”

Zayn makes his way over to the cabinet that Liam refers to as ‘the liqueur cabinet,’ which Zayn hates because they don’t call the cabinet with all the mugs ‘the mug cabinet,’ and finds the bottle of vodka. He unscrews the top and takes a few pulls, barely feeling the burning sensation against his throat.

He takes the bottle from his lips and turns to Unger and Wrathbone. “Boys, would you like a go? We have another litre in the cabinet if you’d rather not share.”

Wrathbone holds out a hand while Unger asks, “Could I possibly have the bottle of whiskey?”

Zayn hands the bottle of vodka to Wrathbone and then gets Unger his whiskey. He takes off the lid and watches his superiors take a few generous sips.

Wrathbone finishes before Unger and begins outlining a plan, “You and Cap will fly to Orlando, and hopefully by that time we can get an exact location on Hawkeye. I’d rather not get into the small details because I know how messy this mission will become. Your job is to get Hawkeye out alive, if he is still alive. Cap’s job is to assist you in that. If Stark is needed,” Zayn begins to object. Wrathbone cuts him off, “which I get it, you don’t want him there, he will be sent to Orlando. We’ll have him close by but not on the mission.”

Zayn nods his agreement.

Unger’s finished drinking his whiskey by this time and says, “Widow, we need you for this. Zayn, you need to sit this one out. If you get too emotional, it could ruin it. You could kill Hawkeye, and I know neither of you want that.”

Zayn can feel Widow coming out from his hibernation in his mind. He holds him off for a bit longer. “If we are not successful in this mission, I will need someone to carry out the original kill order on Widow. I refuse to live in this world without my partner, and Widow needs to be destroyed. Once Hawkeye is gone, there will be no good left in him. Do you understand that?”

They both nod.

“Make sure Cap isn’t the one with the order. He doesn’t need it on his conscious,” he tells them.

Wrathbone picks up the vodka again and walks to the door. “Widow, you and Captain leave for Orlando in twenty minutes. Be ready in ten.”

Zayn nods and watches Unger leave with Wrathbone.

He moves into the second bedroom which doubles as a guest bedroom and his meditation room. He uses it before and after every mission to assist in the transition from Zayn to Widow and Widow to Zayn. He lights his incense and sits on his yoga mat. He breathes in the vanilla-scented air and is transported to his first few weeks with STAND.

 

_Widow is deposited into a holding cell. It’s stark with a bunk bed, simple sheets, a sink, toilet and mirror. He turns to look the guards in the eye, makes it clear that he is cooperating and that, if he truly wanted to, he could escape at any moment. The guards step aside, and he’s greeted with the face of Hawkeye._

_“I’d like to be in the cell with him.” Widow hears through the door. It seems Hawkeye wants to spend time with him._

_Hawkeye’s granted access and steps in with his bag slung over his shoulder. He smiles. “Hiya roomie!’_

_Widow takes a step back, leaning against the wall, narrows his eyes and questions, “Roomie?”_

_Hawkeye deposits his bag on the top bunk. “I asked the higher ups, and they’re totally cool with it. Either you’ll kill me, or I’ll convince you to come work with us. Either way, STAND sees it as a win.”_

_“They must not value your skill set as you previously thought,” Widow informs him._

_Hawkeye is unpacking his duffle bag. It seems he has two of everything. “Nah, they love me. They really think I can do this. Plus, you know who is totally on my side.”_

_Widow scoffs, “Voldemort isn’t on anyone’s side.”_

_Hawkeye halts his actions, turns to face him and says, “I wasn’t talking about The Dark Lord, Widow. I was talking about,” he hesitates, “I’m – I’d like to help. I’m really sorry for what I’m about to say, but I’m here to help Zayn. You two are a package deal, it seems.”_

_Widow’s mind stops. “Zayn? What makes you think he still exists?”_

_Hawkeye shrugs, eyeing him closely. “I highly doubt you’ve read the Harry Potter series in between missions.”_

_He’s right. Widow’s never cracked a book. Zayn loves to read._

_Hawkeye returns to his task in unpacking, and Widow watches him closely. There’s even weaponry in the bag. Widow chuckles._

_Hawkeye freezes, “Did you see something funny? Was it my Batman boxers? Look, Bruce Wayne is a good guy, okay? I’m not saying he’s the best, but he has his moments, and I’m just saying he does a lot more good than people credit him for, you know? It’s like, he isn’t Clark Kent, who does nothing but fly—Like we get it, you can get places quickly bu—“_

_Widow goes to interrupt him, but Zayn beats him to it, “Whoa, whoa, whoa. I agree, Bruce Wayne is a proper boss but like, if we wanna talk about cool and doing good, like, let’s talk about Green Lantern. Hal Jordan was like a normal dude who was chosen. How cool is that?”_

_Hawkeye smiles. “It’s really good to meet you Zayn, I’m Liam.”_

_Zayn stares blankly at him. He can’t – he doesn’t – he has no idea how Liam managed that. Widow was in control; Widow is almost always in control. Zayn only slips out when Widow’s guard has been down for hours and –_

_Zayn doesn’t understand, but his heart races in something that doesn’t feel like fear. He stares at Liam._

_Liam offers his hand to shake. Zayn takes it and nods. “You too mate, but uh, what are we doing? Cause I don’t know how long we have until the other guy comes back.”_

_Liam sits on the bottom bunk. “I’d like to work with you through meditative therapy to get it so that you and the Widow do not fight for dominance. I want you to have both of you, sure, but I’d like it to be a more evenly split. I would also love it if you didn’t kill me. Especially since we’re cell mates.”_

_Zayn nods. “I’d like that. I think I’d really like that.”_

_Liam takes a deep breath, “So, lets get to know each other. I’m twenty-three. I was recruited by STAND when I was seventeen. Unger took me in after I fell in with the wrong crowd. I’ve known I was gay since I was fourteen. I love Batman, I hate peas, and I am very attracted to you.” He coughs, “I thought I’d get that out there. In the name of honesty. So if like, you’re uncomfortable with me, I can get a different person to handle your conversion.”_

_Zayn watches him scratch the back of his neck, nerves clearly visible. “I’m Zayn. I was taken by BE when I was twelve. My parents are dead, and I don’t think my sisters are alive. I had three of them. I don’t like milk, I loved comic books, and I think Widow doesn’t know what to do with Hawkeye, but I really like both of you. Your eyes are the kindest ones I’ve seen in my entire life.”_

_Zayn gets the pleasure of watching Liam blush and he smiles. He could get used to this._

_He’s watching Liam change his shirt when he feels Widow creeping back in. “Liam, it’s been great but it’s time for me t—“_

_Liam turns just before Widow lunges at him, and he’s pinned against the bed frame, “What makes you think I’m going to give up control, hmm?”_

_Liam smirks. “You’re tired Widow. I can see it. It’s time for you to slow down and take a much needed break.”_

_Widow assesses the man’s face; he can see why Zayn is attracted to him. “I warn you, archer, Zayn doesn’t know how to survive on his own. He needs me just as I need him.”_

_Liam nods, apparently serious. “I know; you’re his defense mechanism. I’m not saying you have to disappear forever. We would still use you for missions and training.”_

_Widow likes the sound of this, taking jobs at his leisure, not worrying about being killed for failures, relaxing._

_“I’m giving you two weeks, and if I don’t see improvement in him, I’m taking you out.”_

_The other man raises an eyebrow at the ultimatum but nods, “Fair enough Widow.”_

_Widow drops the arm that was holding Liam’s neck to the frame. “Where do we even begin? The boys over at Black Earth didn’t even know how to control me.”_

_Liam stills the hand that’s massaging his neck. “We don’t want to control you. No one should control another person’s mind. At STAND we can make it so you and Zayn aren’t split anymore. So that you can still be you on missions, but Zayn can be himself at times too.”_

_Widow contemplates this. A life where he could rest, really rest, sounded idyllic. He hoped these people weren’t lying to him._

_“I have trigger words, words that anyone can say that will bring Zayn back as Widow, and I will kill or seriously injure anyone in a five mile radius,” he informs him._

_Liam nods, stripping out of his uniform and hoisting himself up on the bed. “Don’t worry, Widow. Remember, I told you I got all the deprogramming codes. We’ve got a handle on it.”_

_Widow nods. Hawkeye checks his watch. “We have to be in the control room at 0700 and I need more than five hours of sleep. So, I’ll be sleeping up here. He gestures to the top bunk._

_Widow squints at him. “What time is it? And what am I to wear to bed?”_

_Liam bends over to the duffle bag and pulls out a pair of sweatpants. “These should fit you. It’s about 2300. I also need to warn you that ocean waves are going to be pumped through the sound system.”_

_Widow gets the pants thrown at him at the same time he says, “What sound system?”_

_Liam smiles. “Okay, Unger! I’m ready for bedtime!”_

_Widow opens his mouth, but a seagull crowing drowns him out. He glances around and spies a speaker in the far upper corner of the cell. They’re being monitored._

_“How long will we be watched?”_

_Liam’s climbing the ladder to the top bed. He looks Widow in the eyes and says, “Until Unger trusts you.”_

_Widow sighs. “And how long will that take?”_

_Liam gets comfortable on the bed, and Widow watches him close his eyes. “Felix can be finicky, could be tomorrow, could be three weeks from now. I’ll keep you posted. Now, could you please shut up? I’ve got a long day ahead of me tomorrow, and so do you.”_

_Widow strips his clothing and puts on the sweats. He falls into the mattress with a heavy sigh. He can hear soft waves and gentle birdcalls filling the room._

_He clears his throat, “The ocean waves are very soothing.”_

_He can see Liam’s mattress shake with silent laughter. “I figured you’d like it.”_

_Widow sees the mattress move again before Liam calls, “Okay Felix! Lights out, please!”_

_The moment Liam says please, the fluorescent light on the ceiling flashes twice and then stays off the third time. He wasn’t kidding about being observed. Widow begins shutting down as Zayn replays the sound of Liam’s laugher and watches him smile, over, and over, and over until they both fall into a deep sleep._

A timer goes off in the room signaling his meditation time is over, and Widow is ready to go. He looks around the room for his uniform, sees it hanging right next to Liam’s. He takes it off he hanger and quickly strips. In a matter of moments he’s ready to go. Thankfully his fifth set of Widow Bites are charged already, and he doesn’t have to go around looking of them. Having Liam home is so nice sometimes.

Widow paces around the room checking to make sure everything is in order for when he comes back with Liam.

Widow walks out of the apartment and into the chest of one Captain America.

He ricochets off his chest and back in to the door he previously shut. “Jesus Christ, Cap. Make a fucking sound before I attack you next time. Who just stands there like a statue?!”

Louis is chuckling. “I knocked, twice.”

Widow deflates a little bit. “Sorry, Lou. I’m just.”

The other man is nodding. “I know, I know. Without Hawkeye you’re a mess. It’ll be okay. We’ll get him back in no time. Promise.”

Widow scoffs. “Didn’t your mother ever tell you not to make promises you can’t keep?”

Widow moves past Louis in the hallway, expecting him to follow, and goes to the launch bay where he finds Unger and Wrathbone waiting for them.

Widow nods at the pair, “I’ll take the mission file. I’m ready to operate and extract Hawkeye from his kidnapper. I have intel from the source that we are looking for Rumlow. He was the agent who took Hawkeye from his quarters.”

Unger nods, handing over the case file. Widow takes it and hands it to the Captain. He’s much better at following orders anyway. Widow just needs to know exits, entrances, and where the hostage is; everything else is unimportant.

Unger nods, and Tomlinson – the Captain, it’s hard for Widow to differentiate when the man and the myth are much the same – accepts the file for the plane ride. Widow slinks up the stairs of the plane, not pausing to make sure the team is following. He knows they are.  

He sits closest to the exit door, a habit he brought with him from Zayn, who hates plane rides. Cap sits next to him, in support, and goes to say something encouraging but Widow brings his hand up. “Look, I get that you want to help and be a good guy right now, but I don’t want to hear it. Hawkeye is missing, and these people will kill him to hurt me, okay? What if you knew someone was going to take the thing you love the most in the world, more than yourself, and hurt it? Would you want someone there to tell you that everything was going to be okay? Would you really need someone else to lie to you?”

Tomlinson clears his throat. “I was going to ask how it felt to know who it was who hurt Hawkeye, if that makes it any easier. “

Widow stares. “What?”

“I want to know if knowing the names of the people who are hurting Liam helped you. Because I don’t know who or what hurt Harry, and I want to know if it’s helping you to actually have a target with a name instead of an organization,” as Louis finishes Widow deflates and lets go of some of his defensiveness.

He sighs, “No, Cap, it doesn’t make it any easier.”

The other man nods, turns his gaze to the floor, and softly says, “I figured as much.”

Widow buckles his seatbelt and bumps shoulders with the Captain. “If it makes you feel any better, Hawkeye asked for you instead of Stark.”

Tomlinson smiles. “He’s got good taste.”

Suddenly Widow hears those words from a different mouth and can’t help but remember the last time someone said them.

_He’s lying in a dental chair, staring at the ceiling, again, when Liam’s face appears in his line of vision. Zayn raises a brow. “Yes?”_

_Liam smiles. “Just making sure you’re still awake. I’ve said two out of the seven words, and you haven’t gone away.”_

_Zayn shakes his head. “I’m ready for the third. Hit me with it.”_

_Liam takes a deep breath and says, “Thirteen.”_

_Zayn doesn’t do anything, again. He simply blinks. They’ve been at this for ten days. Liam has two black eyes and a cracked rib, but Widow hasn’t come out once without Zayn meditating today. It’s the last word that’s going to be the toughest. He can see Liam’s hesitation to get there._

_Liam works his way through the rest of the words, and, as Zayn expected, he’s shoved in a box while Widow comes out to play._

_Liam freezes and stares into the blank hazel eyes below him, then tentatively asks, “Widow?”_

_Widow feels his eyes focus as he looks at Liam. “Hello archer, how did he do today?”_

_Liam pulls back, out of his space a fraction. “You’ve both done very well today, Widow. Especially you. I’d like to thank you for not attacking me today.”_

_Widow shrugs. “Zayn doesn’t like it when I bruise you. He thinks the black eyes are sexy, but any new additions and I get a stern talking to when he comes back out.”_

_Liam laughs. “I highly doubt he does any of that.”_

_“He’s in love with you, you know,” Widow informs him._

_Liam swallows. “Well, he’s uh, he’s got good taste.”_

_Widow watches the other man’s eyes dilate as he unconsciously licks his lips. “I can see you feel the same way. Would you like a round with me to see if you can handle him?”_

_Liam backs away. “Widow, I don’t want to do anything sexual with either of you. I’m very fond of Zayn and of you. I don’t want to ruin that by giving in to physical desires.”_

_“Are you sure they’re just physical, Hawkeye?”_

_Liam nods. “Nothing more than lust, I assure you, Widow. Now, can you please bring Zayn back? We can be done once you do.”_

_Widow nods and closes his eyes. Liam watches the process and sees the physical change when Zayn comes back._

_“I hope he didn’t hurt you,” is the first thing Zayn says, eyes still shut._

_Liam smiles down at him. “He didn’t even lunge at me today. I think we’re almost done with conditioning. Tomorrow we can start training again. Then, in a few months, Unger’s giving us a new case.”_

_Zayn smiles and opens his eyes. “Widow is very sorry for being unprofessional earlier.”_

_That gets a huge laugh in response. “As if I’m going to believe Widow is ever actually sorry, good one Zayn!”_

“Widow, are you even listening to me?”

Widow turns and sees an expectant look on Cap’s face. He blinks. “Sorry, what?”

“I won’t be offended, but I was talking about back in the day when Hazza got taken by whatever their names were. I was a mess. He was my best friend and the love of my life. I don’t even know how I functioned without him.” Captain Rogers shakes his head.

Widow watches him get lost in the memory and decides to let the man tell his story. He doesn’t know if it’s more to comfort him or the Captain himself.

“They first captured him during World War II and, God, sometimes I’m twenty again, begging him not to go. Other days I’m leading a squadron with him by my side. But it ends with me finding him in the burning building, or it ends with me being unable to save him on that freight car. Most days I wake up and remember the first day I told him I loved him. He was always so happy, so positive. He was such a bright spot in my life, and when he went into the War, I tried to follow him. Then I got this serum injected and, long story short, I found him, huddled in a burning building surrounded by ten other soldiers.”

Widow watches him take a deep breath before continuing, “Harry was turned into a killing machine. I know I don’t have to tell you this, but when I found him, I wanted to help him, make him remember who he really was, not who they created him to be. I’m always visiting his cell, working on his re-conditioning. He says it helps but, some days, I know he’s lying.”

Cap continues on, “Yesterday I asked if he knew the names of the people who were still controlling him after all this time and he didn’t know.” He pauses. “I thought that if I knew who I wanted to kill, I would feel better, I would find closure after doing so but, uh. I don’t think I will. And neither will Haz. We just have to move on, I guess.”

Widow puts a hand on Louis’ leg, “If it makes you feel any better, Hawkeye and I did the research. The organization that Harry was under is no more. STAND eliminated them along with BE.”

Louis turns his head and looks him in the eye. “And look how well that information is working out for us now, huh? We’re on a mission to rescue your partner from your old organization that was supposed to be nonexistent.”

Widow sighs. “Touché, Captain.”

Louis smiles. “Congratulations by the way, on the marriage.”

Widow rolls his eyes. “It’s been two years, I think we’re past the congratulating part, okay?”

“Oh come on, I knew about the tattoos and the ceremony! I just never got to say anything! You picked a janitor at the courthouse as your witness!”

“That’s because the janitor at the courthouse wouldn’t blab to the news about Strike Team Delta doing something with rings on things,” he says.

Louis laughs out, “It’s put a ring on it, even I know that, and I was frozen when that song came out.”

Widow shrugs. “Makes no difference to me, Cap. Liam didn’t mind the secrecy and neither does Zayn. That’s all that matters.”

This sobers up Louis. “How’s Zayn doing with all of this?”

Widow shifts. He’s always uncomfortable when people ask this. “He’s doing as well as he can be. I’m trying to keep him away from the tough stuff as long as I can. He likes to be kept in the loop. I can’t blame him when I do the same. He knows Hawkeye will be okay. He has faith in me, in you too, Cap,” Widow pauses. “We can’t let him down, not when Zayn’s fought so long for stability. He was right earlier; if Liam’s killed, Zayn won’t care, and I’ll have no system to keep me in check. Someone will need to put me down.”

Louis looks away and eyes the other agents on the plane. Clearly they’ve heard the comment, and their unease is palpable. Widow remembers when Louis learned about Harry’s survival, about his continued existence, and he remembers witnessing the dark side of Captain Rogers. He thinks that if anyone understands his fear, Louis does, and he’s reassured when Louis turns back and nods.

“I’ll make sure your wishes are carried out if it comes to that.”

Widow feels relief. “Thank you Captain. You don’t know how much that means to us.”

He turns his gaze away and fiddles with the seatbelt, but he can still feel the Captain’s eyes on him. He isn’t surprised then when Louis asks, “Are you okay, Widow?”

He raises his eyes and lets his emotions show, quid pro quo for the Captain’s earlier honesty. “What if this is the one time I fail? What if I can’t keep it together for Zayn? What if I let him down? We’ve worked so hard for this life and I can’t go back to the way it was, I can’t do it. I was so tired, Louis. So tired. Do you understand?”

Louis shakes his head and places a hand on Widow’s shoulder. He squeezes. “No, Widow, I cannot understand that, but I have someone very close to me who does. Harry knows exactly how you feel. You two are more alike than you’d like to admit.”

Widow swallows. “How does he deal with it? With the guilt?”

Louis searches for the right words. “He goes day by day, accepting his limitations and celebrating his successes. Harry knows now that who he was then is not who he is now or before they changed him. He still carries his guilt and he still wakes up screaming.”

Widow sighs.

“You will get Liam out of this, you will succeed, you will do this for Zayn. You can do this Widow. I have so much faith in you. And I know that together, we can definitely get it done in style.”

Widow scoffs weakly at the last comment. “You really love trying to make catch phrases happen, don’t you?”

Louis chuckles. “Old habits die hard, Widow.”

“Don’t I know it,” Widow says under his breath.

Louis falls silent for a while, allowing Widow to feel a sense of calm for a brief moment. He’s just shut his eyes when he hears Cap ask, “When did it change for you?”

He slowly opens them and turns to look at Louis. “Hmm?”

“When did your partnership with Hawkeye change into the marriage you have now?” he clarifies.

Widow smiles. “Orlando. It was our first mission where we were to go undercover.”

“Tell me about it, we have a three hour flight to get through.” Louis seems eager to know their backstory.

Widow nods and begins telling him how Hawkeye slowly became a part of him and an even bigger part of Zayn.

_Zayn twirls the ring on his left finger for the umpteenth time as he sits in the gate waiting for their plane. Liam fucked off somewhere to get a coffee, so he’ll never been seen again. Zayn goes over their covers again in his head: A newlywed couple from Nebraska, moving to Orlando to get a fresh start. Zayn’s name is Zaccaria, Zach for short, and Liam’s name is Lucian or Luke. They had been dating for two years before they got married. Luke’s parents have always been accepting but Zach’s parents disowned him. They wanted to go to Orlando because the community is much more accepting of homosexuals than that of a small Nebraskan town. Zach is an artist while Luke is an accountant. They live in a one-bedroom apartment a block from the ocean._

_Zayn replays the mission statement._

_“Gather intel on a terrorist group that is systematically killing gay men and women in the Orlando LGBT community. This is stemming from indoctrinated homophobia and pure prejudice. If we are not careful, this organization could turn into the next KKK,” Wrathbone’s voice reminds him._

_Liam sits next to him and hands him a cup with the name Luke on it. “It’s your favorite, babe. Triple shot tall white mocha, no whipped cream.”_

_Zayn smiles at him. “I knew I married you for a reason. Thanks Luke.” He takes a sip of this foreign drink and actually enjoys it._

_He sits back in his chair and feels Liam do the same thing, except he puts his arm around Zayn, allowing him to rest his head on Liam’s shoulder. A woman in athletic clothing is approaching them. Zayn mentally prepares himself for a fight, but she says, “I think it’s brave of you two to live so openly about your lives. It takes courage to be this open, no matter how accepting some people are. I remember when I first kissed my wife in public, I thought I was going to instantly get set on fire by the gods or whoever is up there,” she laughs._

_Zayn smiles. “We think that love in its purest form, no matter how it is expressed, should always be spread. We just wish more people like us were brave, but I guess it takes us bold people to make the rest of us feel safer, eh?”_

_The woman smiles. “Exactly! Have a safe flight you two! Love always wins!”_

_He feels Liam lean down and kiss him on the top of his head. He thinks he could get used to this._

_The call for boarding comes over head, and Liam removes his arm, takes a drink of coffee, and pats down his person for their boarding passes. Zayn smirks and sets his coffee down. He stands and gets the tickets out of his coat pocket. He hands them to Liam who tugs at them just a bit too hard and pulls Zayn into his chest. “I love you, Z.”_

_Zayn smiles into his chest and pretends the reaction is just an act. “I love you too, L. Now come on, we have new lives to begin!” He plays the part of excited newlywed quite well._

_Thankfully they have the window and the aisle seat. Zayn hates when he has to sit middle in coach. Not that he minds coach but just because he doesn’t want a stranger around him._

_The steward comes around and offers them drinks. Lucian doesn’t drink soda because he’s on a new diet, and Zach prefers Sprite but 7UP will do. Zayn leans against Liam’s shoulder and feels him freeze._

_He looks up questioningly and Zayn is taken aback by how good Liam looks, again. He can’t help but stretch and kiss the birthmark on Liam’s neck. All couples do that kind of stuff, right?_

_“Don’t be nervous Luke, I know you hate flying but it’ll be okay,” he reassures._

_Liam smiles. “I know, babe. I might need you to hold my hand though.”_

_Zayn chuckles and reaches for Liam’s right arm with his left. He laces their fingers. Liam brings their hands to his mouth, and Zayn watches as he rotates their hands so he can place a kiss on the back of Zayn’s._

_**_

“You and Liam fell in love when you were undercover?”

Zayn shrugs, always having a flare for storytelling. He’s not sure when Widow shifted aside to let him speak, but he doesn’t question it. “I’ve been in love with him since the beginning. Widow’s loved Liam for about two years. It’s not a secret. We were always going to end up together, I think. We just took a bit of time getting there. “

Louis glances at his hands. “I have to ask. Did...” he clears his throat. “Hawkeye told me that you were shot on that trip. You were shot by – Christ. Why can’t I say the words?”

“Yes. The Winter Soldier shot me,” Zayn tells him. “He didn’t shoot to kill me; the bullet grazed my arm.”

Louis looks up at that. “Hawk told me you were shot through your shoulder?”

Zayn makes a skeptical face. “That is getting grazed. I didn’t die. I was just injured.”

The Captain looks astounded. “He shot you through your muscle, and you think it was just a graze?”

Zayn sighs. “Look, I wasn’t his target. He did what he had to do. You know? We both think he was a victim.”

Louis looks at him sharply. “Because he was…is. He suffers every day.”

Zayn nods. “I know; if there is anyone who understands that it’s us.”

Louis sighs. “So, tell me, how did your training go? I remember when you first came in. Liam had a very tough time staying away from you.”

Zayn shrugs. “He was my roommate in a prison cell. How could he have stayed away from me?”

“He could have left you alone or with another agent.”

Zayn looks skeptical. “No one else wanted to work with me, no one else at STAND would come near me, and everyone thought I was feral. There was no way I could have become myself had Liam not chosen to step up.”

Louis allows the explanation. “I’d still like to know, all the same.”

_Liam is leaning over him, offering a hand up from the training mat. “That was good Zayn. Your technique is coming from Widow, but that’s to be expected. “_

_Zayn huffs as he’s pulled up. “Thanks ever so much. It makes me feel so great when you compare me to my other half.”_

_Liam smiles, and Zayn feels his heart clench. They’re standing so close together. “My point was that you’re doing well too. Even before Widow, you had a talented body.”_

_Zayn raises a brow, feeling brave. “And just how talented is my body, Leeyum?”_

_Liam tenses and sputters. “Not – Not a Talented body, not like that. I mean, you could have a talented body like that, but I don’t mean it that way. I mean, you’ve got natural instincts, and they help when you’re in a situation where you need certain abilities. Shit, this isn’t coming out right.” He sighs._

_Zayn laughs openly. “Liam, I’m joking. I know what you meant, relax.”_

_Liam relaxes a fraction and clears his throat. His professional persona has come back. “Ability to laugh, joke openly, and tease has returned, Unger.”_

_The lights flicker, and Zayn can feel himself becoming self-conscious. Was he only doing this to help him or because he wanted to flirt? It’s a question he keeps coming up against, and one that he can’t answer._

_Zayn straightens himself; he nods his head and asks, “Are we done for the day? I’d like a nap. You can train with Widow later this afternoon.”_

_Liam’s face shows disappointment. “Of course. I didn’t mean to exhaust you.”_

_Zayn smiles cruelly. “Oh Leeyum, you could never truly exhaust me. I’m eager to get away from you so Widow can teach you a lesson.”_

_Liam swallows and a voice comes overhead, “Ability to reciprocate embarrassment and emotionally manipulate without using body, returned.” The voice laughs, “Take the rest of the day off Zayn. Widow can come play if he wants, but you don’t have to come back unless you both want to.”_

_Liam turns his back on Zayn and stares at the observation window. “Felix, you can’t just let him make decisions like that! He needs structure! He needs guidelines!”_

_Zayn’s spine straightens. He can feel Widow itching to get out, but he fights him. He grabs Liam’s shoulder and turns his body. His arm acts on its own, and he sees the punch before registering it happened. Liam jerks away from his grasp, clutching his nose. “What the fuck, Widow?”_

_Zayn barks a laugh. “Widow isn’t here Liam. Do not ever talk about me as if I am a child that needs minding. The only reason anyone needs to observe me is because I could kill you and everyone in this compound. However, I feel like the last two months have proven where my loyalties lie. If that’s not good enough for you, I’d like a new trainer. I do not need a babysitter.”_

_Liam’s clutching his nose but lowers his hands. “I don’t think you nee-“_

_“I wasn’t finished.” He steps into Liam’s space. “Remember who has the upper hand here, Hawkeye.” Zayn closes the distance and places his lips on Liam’s. It’s hardly a kiss, more a pressing of boundaries. He waits for himself to be pushed off, and when he isn’t, he pulls back. He whispers, “Do you want me to show you just how talented my body really is?” He places another kiss to the side of Liam’s mouth, works his way up to Liam’s ear. “Widow taught me well, Leeyum. If you wanted payment for your kindness, all you had to do was ask. I’ve been waiting for you to ask, burning actually. Widow’s told me how you look at me. Don’t you want a taste, Leeyum?”_

_Zayn trails a hand down Liam’s side. “Don’t you want to teach me a lesson in front of all the other agents? Show them how well you can control the infamous Black Widow?”_

_Liam groans. His eyes have closed. Zayn smiles like the Cheshire Cat. “Too bad you never will, Leeyum. Widow doesn’t like to be embarrassed, and neither do I.”_

_He pulls away from the other man. “Have a great day Liam. Widow and I will be taking the rest of the day off. Maybe we’ll meet those other agents who keep talking about us with such reverent tones in the locker room. Ta!”_

_Liam’s left staring at the space Zayn occupied when Unger’s voice comes through, loud at Zayn’s retreating back, “Hawkeye, are you still capable of doing your job even if you’ve lost all trust between the three of you?”_

_Zayn pauses, just out of sight. The spell is broken, and Liam looks at the window. “I’m so proud of him. He, he did exactly what we hoped he would!”_

_Unger sighs, “Could you please go tell him he’s passed. I’m feeling quite tired myself.”_

_Irritation and something like betrayal flashes in Zayn’s gut. He hates being played, being manipulated, being tested without knowledge, even if he knows why it’s necessary. It still stings when Liam does it._

_Zayn turns and leaves as Liam agrees._

_He makes sure to walk fast enough that Liam won’t catch up to him. His irritation has faded, and anger at himself takes its place. He lost control. He lost control, and he threatened Liam. He hates that. He’s always hated that; it’s why the Widow came about in the first place._

_Lost in his head, Zayn is startled to hear Liam’s familiar footsteps behind him. It’s the only warning he gets before Liam darts around him to face him. “Hey, you did great in there.”_

_Zayn looks at him like he’s crazy. “Great? You call assaulting you and threatening to sleep with a random person great?”_

_Liam smiles at him again. “Unger’s goal for the day was to get you to have an angry outburst as Zayn, not as Widow. I was the bait and you passed!”_

_Liam’s so excited and so proud, and Zayn doesn’t understand. He rarely understands Liam though._

_“You deserve the rest of the day off and tomorrow!” Liam continues. “We can go off base. Unger’s fine with it. It’s your reward for making amazing progress.”_

_Zayn keeps staring at him. “Off base? I can leave?”_

_Liam nods. “Not for like, good. We just have to be back before lights out tomorrow. What do you wanna do?”_

_Zayn smiles. “Take me on a date.”_

_Liam pauses, but his smile stays in place. “A date?”_

_Zayn coughs. “Either you take me on a date, or I’ll find another agent. But I’d like to go with someone who knows I won’t kill them after the check is paid.”_

_Liam chuckles. “Okay Zayn. I’ll take you on a date, but you have to promise me that this won’t affect our work, our progress.”_

_“I promise.”_

 

“But did it?” Captain asks.

Zayn nods. “I only thought about kissing him the whole time. He admitted he did the same. It was probably the worst date I’ve ever been on, but it was genuine. It was us. We saw past each other’s faults and personas and truly saw each other.”

Louis smiles. “And you finally started being...what?”

“Nothing, we were nothing. Orlando really made us both realise how much we were each other’s focus. We weren’t able to do the job.”

“What do you mean by that?” Louis asks.

Zayn stares at the floor. “Widow doesn’t like anyone touching things that are his. When we were on that Orlando job, someone tried to take Liam’s cover from him. Widow wasn’t happy, I wasn’t happy, my cover wasn’t happy.”

Zayn sighs. “When they tried to kill him, I think we both went a little ballistic. More than a normal partner should have. That’s when Widow and I realised how much we needed Liam.”

“What did they do?”

Zayn stops a shudder. “Do you know how Hawkeye became deaf?”

Louis shakes his head.

 

_They’ve been in Orlando for five months, slowing gaining the trust of the community and with each other. The decision to be together, really together, happened so gradually that it mostly took Liam and Zayn by surprise, but they couldn’t be happier._

_Zayn as Zach is coming home from work, expecting a beautiful anniversary from his doting husband. He walks through the front door and heads up the stairs of their home calling, “Hey babe! Let me change and then I’ll come down for dinner. Work was absolutely crazy this morning. Didn’t get a minute to myself. Did the flowers arrive okay?”_

_No one responds, and Zayn hears a creak. “Luke?”_

_Zayn’s hair stands on end, his only warning, and he turns to engage the intruder on instinct. He finds a masked man with a cloth, and Zayn can only press the emergency button on his suit before everything goes black._

“They just attacked you in your home?” Louis seems aghast.

He nods. “You have to remember, they were homophobic, racist psychopaths. They wanted us dead to prove a point.”

Louis shakes his head. “And I’m supposed to think times have changed since I went under?”

Zayn nods. “They have, but it feels like the bad outweighs the good constantly… anyway, so...”

 

_He comes to and his hands are tied behind his back, and he’s tied to a chair, facing Liam’s slumped over body. Widow’s engaged. He notes the room, barren of furniture, save for a table and two chairs. There’s one door and one window. It’s light out. They‘ve been knocked out all night._

_His foot moves to test his mobility. The idiots don’t have those tied down. They really are amateurs._

_His foot stretches to touch Liam awake, and it clearly works if the slow roll of his head and swift eye opening is anything to go by._

_“Oh good, the fags are awake,” a voice says. It belongs to a body, male, standing in the doorway of the bare room._

_They both flinch for good measure._

_“I hope you know why you’re here.”_

_Widow turns his head. “Because you’re a homophobe and cannot stand the sight of two people of the same gender in love?”_

_The man shifts his stance and motions for people to come in the room. “I have no time to torture people this morning, so these lovely men will be doing it for me. I do hope you had no plans for the next few days.”_

_He leaves without another word, and the two men he ordered in the room begin to move their chairs. They face them away from each other so that the chair backs are touching. The position gives them an advantage that their assailants clearly aren’t aware of. Widow grabs Hawkeye’s hands and begins untying his hands as Liam does the same._

_“So fellas,” he begins, “What have you been ordered to do? Do I get to know what’s to happen to me?”_

_One of the grunts, “No.”_

_The other comes around and smiles at him. “We aren’t gonna do anything to you. We’re gonna hurt your boyfriend here.”_

_“Husband. Lucian is my husband.”_

_The thug shrugs. “I don’t give a fuck who he is. I’m gonna make sure he remembers this and how much it hurt.”_

_Widow’s hands are free, but he’s still working on Liam’s when he hears a grunt of pain. “Lucian? Darling. Please be strong. Be strong for me. For us. Please.”_

_He focuses his attention on the one in front of him. He’s wielding a knife. “What are you planning to do with that?”_

_The thug grins. “I’m gonna mark you and make sure you don’t forget why you’re here, fag.”_

_Widow mentally cringes at the unoriginality._

_Liam’s hands are untied, and he’s only taken two punches. Widow says the code words, agreed on in a fit of laughter over a TV show, “I’m telling you Lucian, Rory needed to end up with Jess.”_

_Widow lunges at the thug and knocks the knife out of his hand, takes it and backs him up to the wall. Widow uses his arm against the man’s throat and the knife makes shallow swipes across the man’s stomach._

_“Really?” Widow questions. “You were gonna mark me a fag for the rest of my life? Too late, I’m already marked for life. There’s no more room to be marked.”_

_The man struggles. Widow can feel the man’s blood wetting his hand. He presses harder on the man’s throat when he hears Liam’s whine. He stabs the man quickly, hitting most of his internal organs and slashes his wrists. Widow turns to see Liam clutching his head...no his ears._

_Widow doesn’t understand what happened. He didn’t hear anything. He thought Liam was handling his opponent, but Liam’s curled up on the floor now, hunched over and unmoving. Widow only knows he’s alive because he can see Liam breathing, harsh pants of air._

_He looks at the thug. “What did you do to my husband?”_

_The thug shrugs. “I just punctured his inner ear drum.”_

_Widow sees red. He lunges at the man, twirling his knife in one hand. He grabs him by the esophagus and squeezes._

_“You punctured his ear drum. I’m going to make you bleed out so slowly; you’ll wish I had given you a swift death. My husband, my Liam, he is everything. You will pay with this with your life and if you have any family, I will make sure they also pay for your mistake.”_

_Widow does a shallow nick on the main artery in the man’s throat, he then moves to the man’s abdominal area, placing the knife between the ribs and jabs it into the lungs. He hears the gargled breaths and smiles. “See, I told you. Are you wishing yet?”_

_The man shakes his head. Widow cocks his to one side, staring into his eyes. He’s fading much too quickly in Widow’s opinion. He takes a hand and places pressure on the nicked artery._

_“See, Liam, my husband—well, my partner,” Widow starts. “He saved me. He gave me a new life. I was in a whirlwind of death and vengeance for people who used me like a toy gun.”_

_“I should probably introduce myself.” He clears his throat, “Black Widow, here to deliver you to your death.” The thug’s eyes widen. “Oh so you have heard of me! Oh goody. Let me just get my knife, and I’ll make you like the others.” He pauses. “What was that? Mark you as a fag as well?” He chuckles. “Now, why do you think I would ever put you into a class of people who are much better than you are? No, no, I won’t do that to my people.”_

_Widow glances over his shoulder, and he can see Liam staring at him. He tries to convey his affection, but he knows it isn’t working. Liam’s too unbalanced. Widow looks away and looks down at the thug. “I’ll be right back, could you hold on for just a few minutes more? I really need to see the life fade from your eyes.”_

_He heaves himself of the floor and goes over to Liam’s location on the floor a few feet from him. “Li?” Widow’s voice comes out so gentle he hardly recognizes it, but Liam’s eyes shift to him. Zayn pushes hard at Widow, and it nearly startles him. It’s barely a thought before Widow’s saying, “I’m going to get Zayn really quickly so he can comfort you for a few moments, then I have to come back and make sure we get out of here, okay?”_

_Liam nods._

_Widow finds Zayn and pulls him out._

_“Oh Liam, Liam. I’m sorry we couldn’t protect you,” Zayn trips over his words, he’s trying to enunciate as best he can so Liam can read his lips. “I’m here, okay? I’m gonna have to go soon but know that Widow is gonna make us safe again, okay? He can do this. I know he can. We love you too much.”_

_Liam’s eyes fill with emotion._

_Zayn continues, rushing to get through it while he has the chance, “I know I didn’t say anything, and I didn’t want to, at least not while we were on the job, but you need to focus on a reason to come back from this. And I need you to know how much I love you, how in love with you I am.” Zayn glances over at the thug. “Widow has to come back but know that he loves you too okay? We’re gonna get through this. Widow promised me.”_

_Liam nods, and Zayn places Widow in the foreground._

_He walks over to the thug and looks him over. “I told you I’d be back. Now where were we?”_

_Widow grabs the knife and begins opening the thug’s arm. His knife drags a straight line down the limb, and he begins working the skin open. The thug’s screams aren’t nearly loud enough. Widow starts cutting into the shoulder muscle when the door opens. He barely glances up, but when he does he sees Unger and a medical crew._

_“Took you long enough. Liam’s had his inner ear drum punctured. The other man is dead. I’m busy, so please leave me to finish this.”_

_Unger looks over the thug. “He the one that hurt Liam?”_

_Widow nods._

_“Do you need another knife?”_

_Widow looks up as he cuts; he feels the spurt of blood on his neck and asks, “You wouldn’t happen to have a scalpel, would you?”_

_Unger shakes his head. “Not presently. Would you like me to have someone fetch one?”_

_“No, I can do just fine with my knife.” Widow pauses, considering. “Did you get the head of the organization?’_

_Unger nods and turns to watch Liam being loaded on the stretcher. “We also have names of all known associates. Liam’s being airlifted back to base, do you need to be on the helicopter with him?”_

_Widow hesitates but Zayn’s adamant. “Give me two seconds.”_

_Widow takes the knife and begins making his hourglass with the knife. He finishes and looks up at Unger. “Let him bleed out. No one is to save him, or they will meet the same fate.”_

_The supervisor nods before instructing, “Bring Zayn out in the transport. Liam needs him, not Widow.”_

_Widow smiles. “Liam loves us both. He can tell me which one he wants.”_

_Widow jogs out the door and sprints to the helicopter._

_He moves to a seat next to Liam’s head and makes eye contact. “Do you want Widow or Zayn?”_

_Liam shrugs. “Want both of you, always.”_

_Widow smiles at him and gives a nod to the flight crew. He grabs Liam’s hand as they take off._

 

Zayn pulls himself out of the story and looks at Louis. The look of shock on his face makes Zayn know he heard all of it.

“They just punctured his ear drums like it was nothing?”

He nods.

“I don’t usually say stuff like this, but I sincerely hope you killed that guy.”

Zayn nods. “Unger told me it took him three minutes to bleed out after I left. Unger fired a few shots into his head to be sure.”

The Captain smiles. “Unger would do anything for you two wouldn’t he?”

Zayn hesitates before answering, “I would do anything for them. I owe them everything."


End file.
